The Self-driven Student

Academic coaching only works when the young person knows - without a shadow of a doubt - that they are in the driver’s seat. It is always such a treat to see how a client perks up when they are told that THEY get to make the decisions in academic coaching. THEY decide what they want to work on. THEY choose how they are going to get there. Before I even have a chance to get to know a student, I spend crucial time listening to a parent’s perspective on their child’s strengths and challenges. This is, of course, vital to building any meaningful and productive relationship. But, what is most impactful, is hearing and truly listening to a child's view of themselves. Sometimes a parent’s main goal aligns with their child, but, oftentimes, it could be quite different. The thing about pre-teens and teens is that they are developmentally wired to want autonomy. According to neuropsychologist William Stixrud and long-time educator Ned Johnson, authors of The Self-Driven Child, this is the time “to hand the decision-making reins over to our teens. By adolescence, parents need to (take a deep breath and) let them make their own decisions about their lives.” This is what is going to lead to their ultimate success. And, so when the parent and coach together agree to let the young person guide the focus for their own goal setting and action steps they will become the best driver’s of their own success.